I'm taking a break from my usual subject of life in the Northwest today to talk about marriage, because this morning I looked at the calendar and saw that Ryan and I have been married four months today.
The last four months have been filled with questions like, "How's marriage?" "What's life like?" and "How are you adjusting?" and I think that after four months of marriage and living 2,000+ miles away from our closest family and friends, I finally feel ready to answer those questions.
This is what marriage is to me:
- Marriage is loving, living and relying on your best friend. We've been doing that for a long time now, so we were initially skeptical that our relationship would change, but moving across the country together has allowed us to strengthen our bond in every way. We couldn't be happier loving this time in our lives, living in our cozy apartment and relying on each other for everything. Whether that means waking up at 5:15 a.m. to carpool to work together or knowing that dinner's going to be made that night when one of us has had a hard day at work. That being said...
- Marriage makes you stronger. I've always known that my husband and I were two strong individuals, and before we were married I thought that we were already a unit, ready to face the world together. Once we were married, I was surprised to find that our strength continued to grow, and now we operate better than ever before. Things aren't always easy, but our marriage gives us a reason to fight harder than ever for each other and that reason is better than any.
- Marriage is give and take. Being two independent individuals, we were used to this concept before we were married, but somehow, it means more to us to be able to compromise now. I used to be fine having Chocolate-Chip Cookie Dough ice cream for dessert because my husband hated Rocky Road, and he used to be okay watching "Revenge" with me if it would mean he could watch his television shows after, but now we actually want and look forward to doing those things for each other because we know it makes each other happy. Love and marriage is a sweet thing.
- Marriage makes life sweeter. Really! I never thought I could be so happy just sitting with my husband and talking about our days. Or cooking together. Watching a show. Or going out for a walk. It could be that our schedules don't allow us to spend a lot of time together right now, but we're cherishing every moment we have with each other and life is sweet.
- Marriage is work. It is. But it's the best kind of work. It's a give and take of plans, hopes and dreams. Choosing to pursue one course while abandoning another, willing to put some plans off to put "us" in the best situation. It's work, and there are highs and lows, but it's worth it because of our love for each other and because we don't mind the "work" that is involved.